Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Tips To Make Him Pop the Big Q

Most girls dream of meeting their prince charming, getting married and living happily ever after. What then happens when you do meet this prince, and he’s just not getting round to asking the question that will unlock the door to your ever-after?
Picture this: Its your third anniversary and he has planned this cozy dinner for just two of you. Giddy with excitement, you make sure your fingernails are all polished because finally, he is going to propose. At the restaurant, you’re almost breathless from wondering how he’s going to actually do it; ring on a platter or just down on one knee with everyone ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’. Dinner is over, neither ring nor proposal has made an appearance, then he turns to you on the ride home and asks ‘babe, did you have fun?’ you feel the infuriation welling up in your belly and are fixing to rant about how he needs to make up his mind and stop wasting your time,,, but you won’t. Here’s what you should do instead:
Take a deep breath and relax: As much as you might want to be his ‘Mrs.’n nothing about your actions should give the impression  that you desperately want to get married to him or anyone else for that matter. Dr. Phil in the article In a Rush to Get Married?(2012) says that seven percent of communication is verbal while 92 percent is non-verbal, so be careful not to send out signals, in word or deed, which might actually be giving him cold feet.
Re-evaluate the relationship: According to Mona Gallagher, a relationship writer in the article How to Evaluate your relationship (2007), you need to first decide what you want, then decide if you’re getting what you want, If marriage is what you primarily want from the relationship then you might want to ask yourself why the question is yet to be popped after so much time together, especially if the relationship has been near perfect and you can’t put your finger on any salient reason why he’s reluctant to take the relationship a step further.
Discuss your doubts and fears with him: Notice the kew word here is ‘discuss’ not ‘rant, coerce or give ultimatums’. Much care is also required regarding choice of words so don;t come with questions like ‘what are we really doing with this relationship?’ or ‘Am I not what you really want?’ as those would most likely put him off and that’s not the desired result you’re after. However, this conversation should be a one-off because anything more than that would leave you looking like a ‘desperado’ and that’s not what you want either. Once should be more than enough to send the message across.
Ignore Society: The sky’s not falling so what if ‘your clock’ is ticking? There seems to be an increased pressure on people to get married once they get to a particular agree and if they proceed further past that age and are still unmarried, the pressure turns to a certain brand of mockery. Take your time and enjoy the process of being found and getting t know the person you will be spending the rest of your life with because marriage can be such a long time and there is certainly no need to rush into it.
Focus on you: Miles Monroe calls it the process of being single. If he’s not proposing yet then get to work on improving and refining yourself to become a better version of who you already are. Don’t make the mistake of sulking and moaning and ranting about how all your friends are already in their second or third pregnancies while you are yet to see the shadow of a ring. nagging has never been an attractive trait, and won’t make him go down on one knee any sooner

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